You know what will happen when telecom operators slice up the Internet into data packs? A twitter hashtag response to Airtel’s Net Neutrality violation explains, satirically, why neutrality of cost of Internet access is important. Remember that Gopal Vittal, Joint MD & CEO, Airtel, said on January 29, 2014, “We are trying to change the vocabulary away from megabytes and gigabytes into songs and videos…”.
Well, here’s your new vocabulary for accessing the Internet:
#FutureAirtelCharges You want to buy something on Flipkart? How can they alone benefit from our network? Pay Rs.100/KB to go past cart page.
— Karthik Srinivasan (@beastoftraal) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 'Hiring a cab? That'll be Rs. 50 convenience charge. Press OK to continue.'
— Prateek (@KhuranaPrateek) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges “we see you are using our network to send work emails. Pay 100/email before clicking send button”
— Javed Anwer (@Javed_Del) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges Want to Trade Online ? Share 20% of your Profit with AirTel
— Hetal Patel (@hetaldp) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges “want to share selfies on Facebook. Subscribe to Selfie 99 (valid for 99 + 6 free selfies)”
— Javed Anwer (@Javed_Del) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges Rs49 for 100 msgs on #WhatsApp valid for 28 days.. #VoIP #BoycottAirtel
— Magesh மகேஷ் (@m_magesh) December 27, 2014
For every app download pay ₹60 even if it's free in ur respective App Store #FutureAirtelCharges
— Nish (@drnishurs) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 5% of dowry in marriages that happened through matrimonial sites.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) December 27, 2014
During a Natural Calamity, Surge pricing is applicable. Local Call 5 Rs / Min, STD Call 10 Rs / Min. #FutureAirtelCharges
— Aditya (@forwardshortleg) December 27, 2014
Data charges to access CAT website on result day Rs 200/MB or Buy CAT Pack : 75 Rs ( Data – 10 MB. Validity 1 Day ) #FutureAirtelCharges
— Aditya (@forwardshortleg) December 27, 2014
Simple maps recharge for ₹99 – get 10 destinations route + additional 1 free of cost #FutureAirtelCharges
— Nish (@drnishurs) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges Brought a new smartphone? Pay 2% of the phone's MRP to access your 3g pack!
— Aditya Dhunna (@dhunnaaditya) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges Surcharge of Rs.500 per each successful Tatkal ticket booking. Also Rs.5/sec if transaction takes more than 2 minutes.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges we see you are in densely congested network area right now kindly pay Rs 75/kb charges and Rs 5/secs call charges
— $unn¥ A¤a₹wal (@sunnyag) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges @airtelindia says “New tweet rates announced as 10.Rs /tweet. Use hashtag #happynewyear? that's 15.Rs /tweet”
— Isaac John Wesley ✌ (@isaacjohnwesley) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges That profile of the girl/guy you are stalking will be available only if you upgrade to our Rs.50/kb special pack
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges After 5 times, 8.5p/kb for checking your bank account balance and 20p/kb for dong NEFT
— mhsabir82 (@mhsabir82) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges Plays an ad every 30 seconds into the call and asks you to pay Rs. 10 everytime to avoid the ads. Sheesh!
— Raghu Prodduturi (@raghupro) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges giving missed calls will be charged since how can u signal someone on the sly without airtel benefitting from it? #voip
— HarryBoy (@HarryBoyPT) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges we see you are accessing net while travelling please pay tower porting charges @ 100/tower
— $unn¥ A¤a₹wal (@sunnyag) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges “sitting in Starbucks, using free WiFi and not our network. Pay Rs 5/per minute”
— Javed Anwer (@Javed_Del) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 'Last day to pay credit card bill? Pay 3% of Minimum Amount Due to continue.'
— Prateek (@KhuranaPrateek) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges While watching a film on YouTube, the climax alone will cost you Rs.10/MB.
— Karthik Srinivasan (@beastoftraal) December 27, 2014
Airtel will charge Rs .15 for each RT and Fav in Twitter !!!! #FutureAirtelCharges
— Faiz (@Faizfahmad) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 'We see you're planning to buy an iPad online. That means you'll stream stuff on it too, no? Pay Rs.1,000/MB to buy it'
— Karthik Srinivasan (@beastoftraal) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 'Porting out of Airtel affects our revenue. You will continue to be billed for non-usage.'
— Aditya Seshadri (@ThatAditya) December 27, 2014
#futureairtelcharges when you are calling 100 please note that 50% of the bribe given to the them must be paid to airtel.
— Aravind (@netcitizen) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges If you host a contest in twitter using Airtel internet, then pay 20% of hosting fee to them…
— Binary Baba™ v2.0 (@0__1) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges Fuck usage. Now pay for all the data signals you are soaking up while walking around.
— Froodycat. (@HighHeelsWaali) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges replying to your boss's escalation mails on our network will be charged with 100rs/mail @Airtel_Presence
— Lord BaltiBottom (@mdhvv) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 'Aah haa sneaky you! Booking a Tatkal ticket on IRCTC, huh? Upgrade to Rs.22/KB pack to continue!'
— Karthik Srinivasan (@beastoftraal) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges “You are dialing a non-Airtel number. Please buy the Vodafone/Idea/Reliance pack to connect.”
— Aditya Seshadri (@ThatAditya) December 27, 2014
#futureAirtelcharges you can't watch videos for free, you should pay as much as movie tickets for these services
— Allons-y, Mallya (@Bacardidevi) December 27, 2014
Your wife has sent you a WhatsApp message, to read it you will have to pay Rs.2 #FutureAirtelCharges
— Anil Prabhu (@theanilprabhu) December 27, 2014
Restaurant Invoice
Total-2000
VAT 20%-400
Service Charge 10%-200
Checkin Charges 5%-100
Instagram Charges 10%-200
#FutureAirtelCharges
— Prateek (@KhuranaPrateek) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 'Attending a friend's wedding? Want to upload pictures? Shagun ka Rs.101/- per pic plz'
— Prateek (@KhuranaPrateek) December 27, 2014
#FutureAirtelCharges 'Aap ke bank account money transfer hua hai. Kitna hai dekhna hai aapko? Pay Rs.150/KB to see rightaway!'
— Karthik Srinivasan (@beastoftraal) December 27, 2014